In the run up to our team building exercises next week, we’re supposed to come up with a “fun fact” that our co-workers might not know to help break the ice during our first set of meetings. I’m pretty sure this is after the office furniture tower and before the trust fall. I have no doubt that in person this will be interesting and a good ice breaker. Well, maybe some doubt.

Anyway, friends and I are trying to figure out what our fun facts should be. Naturally, instead of actually doing the assignment, we’re trying to come up with the most outrageous things that we could share with the group to shock everyone into silence without actually getting fired. So far, we have:

1. Fun fact: I’m still working here because my parole officer says I need to be employed.
2. Fun fact from DM: They didn’t want me to come to NYC because the judge thinks I’m a flight risk. Good thing I’m really good at removing the anklet.
3. Fun fact from JM: I’m only working here to support my all-consuming drug addiction.
4. Fun fact from Pen: (after shaking everyone’s hand during the introductions) I have H1N1.
5. Fun fact: I’m quitting.
6. Fun fact from Pen: All romance leads to gut wrenching despair.
7. Fun fact: I miss my old boss.
8. Fun fact: The only reason I agreed to this trip to New York is that I’m hoping to run into David Duchovny.
9. Fun fact from JM: I would rather spend a night sleeping at Canal and Broadway than in a second day of meetings with you people.
10. Fun fact: No, seriously, I quit.

Those have made my list. Feel free to send your suggestions. You never know—depending on how my inbound flight goes, I might decide to use one of them. In fact, Pen has already pledged $20 if I use #6.

Kate