I am in dating “no man’s land” (literally and figuratively). I’m too young for OurTime.com and too old for speed/stir dating in Los Angeles (which apparently has a cut-off of 42).

It’s something they don’t warn you about—but I am here to tell you that it exists. It might actually be illegal for you to date in your 40s in the city of Los Angeles. Sure, it might be hard to find the law on the books, but I’m pretty sure it’s true.

So, I’m proposing a new 40-something dating experience.  It will be just like speed dating; only it will involve cozy chairs, glasses of wine and you are matched up by your favorite books (that way you have a shot at having at least one thing to discuss). I’ll go first: All the King’s Men by Robert Penn Warren. I bet you thought I was going to go with something Austen-y didn’t you? It’s true, I could be swayed in that direction, but for the moment, I’m sticking with Jack Burden.

Also, it won’t be three minutes. That’s too much pressure to be entertaining and (God forbid) memorable. People say ridiculous things when they are under that kind of “get them to like me” pressure. I mean, how many times have you heard someone say something absurdly sexual in the first minute of conversation because they are nervous, talking too much and think it will make them sound fun? I’m giving everyone more time, so that they can work up to embarrassing instead of having to start there.

What else do we need? Oh, right. We actually need 40-something men who are single and straight to show up at the event. Clearly, I don’t know how to bring that. If I knew how to find single, straight 40-something men, I wouldn’t be looking for a fake ID to get me into speed dating.

Every plan has a snag.