I’m on set today pretending to walk down a Chicago street in late autumn (good thing it’s only 80 today). I feel like I’ve done extensive prep for this by living in the Midwest for 20 plus years. You’ll be thrilled to know I still have an extensive winter wardrobe for just this occasion (or for those days where LA dips down to a frigid 60).

Anyway, one of the crew members is incredibly cute, and I decided that I would boldly go where I don’t usually go—flirt mode. First, I smiled at the man. This is nothing short of groundbreaking as I’ve often been told that “fuck you” is permanently inked on my forehead. Then I initiated a conversation about his life, as opposed to telling him to go away (which I apparently often do literally and with body language).

And…that’s it. That’s what I did. Since I had a tiny spark of romantic intent on my part, I feel that this counts as flirting. My friends promptly explained to me that this counts as basic, polite, human interaction. Needless to say, I disagree—not that it really matters because within two sentences cute guy mentioned his upcoming wedding (because I’m attracted to men who have the smell of commitment about them, apparently). Perhaps he did that because my flirting was obvious to him, and he wanted to set the ground rules? Still, my friends disagree.

If showing pleasant interest in a member of the opposite sex is not flirting, what do you count as flirting? Is it always sexual banter? I sincerely hope not—I’m not advertising what I’m not selling. Clearly, I still need guidance. This is where you come in. Send forth your best flirting examples (please keep this in the context of interaction in a public realm), and I’ll try to figure out a way to incorporate it the next time I’m faced with an attractive man I don’t know how to approach.

I’ll screw it up, of course, but I do promise to at least try.