Because I like to mentally torment myself whenever possible, I was inspired to create a list of things that did not exist the last time I had a legitimate first date.  By first date, I mean an actual “Gee, you’re kinda pretty, would you like to go out with me and form a meaningful lifetime connection” kind of thing.  I don’t mean: “I’m so wasted. Are you are around?”

Are you ready?

Here are the top five things that did not yet exist (in the public realm) at the time of my last first date:

1. The Internet (Well, that’s really a show-stopper right there, isn’t it?)
2. E-mail
3. Cell phones (ok, technically these existed, but no one had them and texting was a long way off)
4. DVDs
5. The X-Files

From this list, we can scientifically determine the following things:

1. I’m old as ass.
2. I’ll have fascinating things to discuss on my blind dates because this won’t bring about any sort of panic response from men.
3. I’m old as ass.